Don’t Let a Breakup Break YOU

Breakups suck.

It doesn’t matter if you ended it, they ended it, or it was a mutual “let’s be friends” situation. When a relationship ends, especially with someone who mattered a lot to you, it hurts. It’s okay to not feel okay about it.

Just because people might be telling you to “move on” doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. You can’t ignore your emotions, and you don’t have to.

Healing isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about getting through with confidence, care and self-love and growing into a stronger version of yourself.

It’s Okay to Feel What You Feel

Let’s normalize not being okay.

You might feel sad, angry, confused, embarrassed, relieved or all of these at once. One minute you’re playing sad songs on repeat, the next you’re laughing at the TV. Mood swings are a normal response to emotional experiences. They don’t make you dramatic. They make you human. Breakups are a part of almost everyone’s life, no matter where they live. You are not alone in feeling heartache.

Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your relationship wasn’t real or meaningful. Your heart is real. Your experience is unique. Your feelings are your own. Let yourself cry, vent, rage, and heal – you’re allowed to experience all your feelings.

Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days will feel heavier than others. That’s normal. Losing a relationship and what you thought would be your future together is a form of grief. And grief has stages. Most people go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, but not necessarily in order. It’s a process as unique as the relationship you experienced.

Create Space to Heal

You may not want to hear it, but you know it’s true: healing and constant contact with your ex don’t mix.

If you’re still texting your ex to “check in,” scrolling through your old photos, or checking their social media, it might be time to reflect. Creating distance and a space to heal isn’t being petty. It’s making a smart decision for yourself. Healing happens when you give yourself enough space to breathe without someone else’s status living rent-free in your head.

That break might mean unfollowing or muting them on social media, deleting old messages, or even taking a break from social platforms altogether. Seeing other people post about their happy relationships can sting when you’re in the middle of healing, and that’s okay to admit.

Taking a step back also doesn’t mean the door is permanently closed. Many people go on to have healthy, respectful friendships with their exes, but only after both people have fully moved on and the emotions have settled. With time, honesty, and boundaries, it’s possible. But first, give yourself the grace to focus on your own healing. You deserve that.

Now’s the time to put your energy into you! Reconnect with who you are outside of the relationship.

Try this:

• List 3 hobbies you love or have been wanting to try and schedule at least one into your week.
• Plan a hangout with friends or family who make you feel loved.
• Set a goal for yourself and outline how you will work to achieve it.
• Start journaling or writing down your feelings.
• Rearrange your room or refresh your space.
• Go on a walk, workout, or dance around the house to your favorite playlist.

Use this time to rebuild and focus on you.

Reflect and Learn

Not all relationships are meant to last, but each one can teach you something about love, life, and yourself.

This is your chance to reflect on your values, your needs, and your boundaries.

Think about:

• What did I appreciate about that relationship? What made me feel safe, respected, and supported?
• What didn’t I like? Were there red flags I ignored?
• Was I able to fully be myself?
• Did I communicate my needs clearly?
• How did that relationship affect my self-esteem? Did I feel more confident or insecure?
• What do I want in my next relationship?
• Did I feel any type of pressure? How will I handle that next time?

Pro tip: Write down 5 non-negotiables for what you need from your next partner and don’t settle for less.

Breakups don’t define you. But they can refine you. It is an opportunity to reset and turn to the next chapter. Let it be a reminder that you have the power to leave something that doesn’t feel right.

Final Thoughts

Even though you may still feel heartbroken, you are in control of your life, healing, and happiness. Take time to rebuild and become stronger than ever.

Your love story is just getting started.

“No, it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good in this moment, but in the future, it’s the thing that’s going to light you up so you can stay lit! When you look at the thing, the deeper the heartache, the more you needed to learn, and that’s actually the truth… Every heartache is there to teach you something about yourself,” – Oprah Winfrey.

Share this blog with a friend who might be going through a tough breakup.

Be sure to check out more of our blogs about relationships and visit our clinic locator where young people can access free, confidential healthcare.