Help: My Friend Thinks They Might be Pregnant!
“I’m late.”
Your jaw drops as your friend shares that their period is late, and they think they might be pregnant. As the conversation continues, you realize that you’re not really sure how to support your friend in this situation.
No worries – we’ve got some tips for you and your friend to navigate the unexpected.
How do people get pregnant?
We’ve all had health class, but does that make us the experts? Maybe not. Let’s go over the basics.
In order for a menstruating person to be pregnant, sperm needs to reach the egg that they release each month as part of their menstrual cycle. When some people start menstruating, their cycle is inconsistent. Being late isn’t always a big deal, it is a natural response that happens in our bodies as we experience stress, lack of sleep, or are extremely active.
So, just because your friend is late, it does not automatically mean that they are pregnant. Remember, in order to be pregnant, a sexually active person who menstruates must have sperm meet their egg and fertilize the egg.
How do I help my friend get a pregnancy test?
To know for sure if your friend is pregnant, they’ll need to take a pregnancy test. Our trusted healthcare providers offer confidential pregnancy testing. Once your friend arrives for their appointment, a nurse will ask your friend to provide a urine sample to confirm if they are pregnant or not. The results will be ready within a few minutes.
How can I be a supportive friend?
As your friend learns whether or not they are pregnant, they will need your support regardless of the outcome. Being a supportive friend can mean different things to different friends. Most are looking for someone to listen to them and make them feel heard. They know you aren’t able to fix the situation – just validate that what they are feeling is normal and okay.
So, check in on your friend. Be curious by asking open-ended questions that invite them into a conversation about their thoughts and feelings. Listen carefully and validate what they’re feeling. When you’re stuck, it’s okay to say something like, “I don’t know what to say right now, but I’m here for you.” Your friend will thank you for your honesty and value you for not trying to fix things.
I’ve never made a big decision before. How do I help my friend make one?
It’s okay to not know where to start. There are a lot of factors to take in when making a big decision. To help organize thoughts and feelings, some find it helpful to think it over quietly, others write in a journal and share their thoughts with someone they trust.
The three Cs can be a starting point, as you help your friend weigh their options. It’s important to know that the only perfect decision is the one that is best for them.
- First, identify the challenge or decision that they’re facing.
- Then identify the choices. It is important that these choices are plausible. This will help them explore different options and determine if that option is best for them.
- Lastly, identify the consequences. These can be positive or negative consequences of the choices that were decided in the previous step. This gives them a chance to think through the choices and understand what consequences are associated with each potential decision.
My friend needs more than what I can offer. Who can help us?
Even the best of friends need support! Fortunately, there are safe, supportive services that can help your friend in their time of need.
If your friend is struggling with taking action to seek care, encourage them to connect with a counselor or therapist.
If your friend has questions about what is happening to their body, a healthcare professional can help answer these kinds of questions.
If your friend is still in school, there are supportive services available – pregnant and parenting students have the opportunity to receive extra support through the ELECT program. ELECT, which stands for Education Leading to Employment and Career Training, provides specialized education and support for pregnant and parenting teens. This includes help with medical care for the pregnant person and their child, accessing baby supplies, education about parenting, and more! A school counselor or nurse can help your friend gain access to these free services.
Let’s Recap
The most important thing you can do to support your friend is to create a safe space to listen and validate their feelings, fears, and concerns. Be present and check in on them regularly. Encourage them to talk to a healthcare provider or help them find a pregnancy support organization. Acknowledge their autonomy and remind them that they are not alone and that they can make the best choice for themself.
Be sure to check out more of our blogs about relationships and visit our clinic locator where young people can access free, confidential healthcare.
