International Sex Education Day

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International Sex Education Day is celebrated every year on February 2nd since it was coined in 2019.

This date was chosen because on February 2, 1919, pastors around the country preached abstinence on National Social Hygiene Day to try to stop the spread of syphilis. Unsurprisingly, this method did not work.

On International Sex Education Day, we celebrate how far sex education has come in the last 100 years and the change in focus to honest, open communication about sex and relationships.

Importance of Sex Education

“Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant… and die.”

―Coach Carr, Mean Girls Movie (2004)

The above quote comes from the Mean Girls gym teacher who is enlisted to teach sex ed in the movie. While this quote is meant to be funny, it shows the kind of limited and inaccurate sex education many people have received.

In the U.S., only 78% of teens say they’ve received any sex education in school and 58% of those students only learned about abstinence.

Abstinence-only is sex education that teaches not having sex is the only way to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). These programs can also be disguised as “sexual risk avoidance” programs.

However, studies show that this approach doesn’t work. It doesn’t delay when teens start having sex or reduce risky behaviors. In fact, some research suggests that abstinence-only programs can actually lead to more teen pregnancies and fewer teens using birth control.

Comprehensive sex education, on the other hand, gives young people accurate information about their bodies, sexuality and health.

Abstinence-only programs can be harmful to teens. Most teens (57%) will have had sex by the end of high school, yet abstinence-only programs do not equip them with information about contraceptives, STIs, consent, or healthy communication that they need to safely navigate these experiences.

Framing abstinence as a choice—and anything else as a failure—can be isolating to students who have been coerced or forced into sexual experiences. Abstinence-only programs also increase judgment, fear, guilt, and shame around sex as well as leading to experiences of discrimination for LGBTQ students.

How to Talk About Sex Education

Parents can use the following ideas to jump-start talking about sex education:

  • Carve out 10 minutes to talk to each of your kids using age-appropriate language. For young children, you can talk about how our bodies enable us to walk, run, see, and hear.
  • Talk to older children about consent and respect. Talk about safer sex practices with middle and high school children, depending on where they are developmentally.
  • Share an age-appropriate book about sexuality with your child.
  • Plan future “dates” with your child so you can spend time together alone and talk. This helps build a foundation of trust and love between parent and child.
  • Use media such as television, movies, social media, and music to help jump-start conversations. For example, ask open-ended questions such as, “Do you think that character was respectful towards their partner? Why or why not?”

Some tips for adolescents who want to talk to a parent or trusted adult about sex:

  • Think about what you want or need from them. This will help guide your conversation and help you get the most out of it.
  • Think about how you feel. Put those feelings into words and make them part of the conversation.
  • If you think you might get nervous when it comes time to talk, try practicing what you want to say in front of a mirror or with a friend.
  • Pick a good time to talk. Find a time when your parent or the adult you want to talk to isn’t busy with something else and can give you their full attention.

 

Below are some additional resources to help you talk about sex education:

Understanding Consent

Understanding consent is an important part of sex education. Consent can and should be taught from a young age and built upon through sex education.

We engage in consent all day long – “May I open the door for you?” But it can feel harder/more complicated to practice consent when it comes to our bodies and uncomfortable subjects like sex. Talking early and often helps us gain comfortability and be clearer about what we want, what we don’t want and how to communicate that.

For younger children (8 -12 years old), teaching consent may focus on respecting others, making sure they have a clear understanding of appropriate touch and know how to talk to someone they trust.

For teenagers (13 – 18 years old), teaching consent can move towards discussing boundaries and the importance of consent during sexual activities. Other consent conversation topics for teenagers include gender roles, communication in relationships, as well as the legal side of sex.

If you are ready to have the “the talk” and would like more information, we have resources that can help! Find a provider near you if you have any questions.