In the United States, every February is recognized as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.
Proclaimed by President Obama in 2011, this month focuses on advocacy, education and coming together to break the cycle of violence.
What is Dating Violence
It is common for most people to recall their early dating experiences as teenagers.
Unfortunately, teen dating violence is also common. About 1 in 12 high school students experience physical or sexual dating violence. Some teens are at greater risk than others, but everyone can take responsibility for spreading awareness and prevention.
Many teen relationships can be characterized as unhealthy or violent. It is important to gain an understanding of what exactly teen dating violence looks like and acknowledge that it is preventable.
Teen dating violence includes physical, psychological or sexual abuse, stalking or harassment of any person between the ages of 12 and 18 in the context of a past or present romantic or consensual relationship. It is also important to be aware that teen dating violence does not only occur in person; it can occur online or through technology.
Teen dating violence can take many forms. Below are examples of the different types of abuse:
Physical abuse – This type of abuse is one of the most identifiable types of abuse. It involves physical contact or threats of violence to assert power over an individual.
This can include pulling, biting, kicking, driving recklessly with you in the car, throwing objects, using weapons, preventing you from leaving, etc.
Emotional abuse – Behaviors that are non-physical but meant to control, isolate or frighten someone.
For example, isolating from family or friends, attempting to control appearance, constant accusations of cheating, gaslighting, humiliation in front of others, etc.
Sexual abuse – When a person controls the physical and sexual intimacy in a relationship which often involves force and is non-consensual.
For example, ignoring feelings regarding sex, insulting in sexual ways or explicit names, strangling, holding, or restraining during sexual intercourse without consent, etc.
Financial abuse – When a person exerts power and control over finances.
For example, preventing access to bank accounts, withdrawing money without permission, closely monitoring purchases, etc.
Digital abuse – The use of technology to harass, stalk, bully, or intimidate a partner.
Also described as verbal or emotional abuse conducted online.
For example, setting restrictions on who you can or cannot follow on social media, sending threatening messages or emails, looking through your phone, insisting on sharing account passwords, etc.
Stalking – This occurs when a person watches, follows or harasses repeatedly which makes the other person feel afraid or unsafe.
This can look like someone showing up unannounced or uninvited, sending unwanted messages and calls, using technology to track your activities, waiting around at places you frequent, etc.
Why Dating Violence Happens
As teens grow through adolescence and young adulthood, there is a significant amount of emotional and mental maturity that is still developing.
Relationships at any age can be challenging to navigate but often those stressors can lead teen relationships down a “toxic” or unhealthy path. Teens may have difficulty communicating their feelings to romantic partners, have trouble communicating effectively, suffer from other emotional problems, or may be mimicking unhealthy behaviors portrayed on screen.
Some red flags or signs of an unhealthy relationship include:
- Controlling their partner’s appearance or behaviors
- Pressuring to take part in any activity that partner is not comfortable with
- Monitoring whereabouts and consistently messaging
- Excessive jealousy when a partner hangs out with other people
- Physically hurting or threatening a partner
Preventing Teen Dating Violence
Dating violence can have long-lasting impacts on the development of healthy intimacy, identity, sexuality, self-esteem, substance use, academic performance, and violence in future relationships.
With a focus on reducing risk factors and empowering teens, everyone can play a role in preventing teen dating violence in the following ways:
- Learn and discuss risk factors. Teens who are new to dating may think unhealthy behaviors are acceptable.
- Discuss healthy and unhealthy relationships portrayed in media.
- Set healthy boundaries. Speaking up for yourself and voicing your opinions, needs, and concerns is a good way to practice healthy communication.
- Talk about the characteristics of healthy teen relationships. Not everyone recognizes what a healthy relationship is or how to form one.
- Get familiar with resources. Being a trusted source of information may help you or someone you know.
- Have a life outside of the relationship. When a dating partner feels like they “cannot live without” the other, they may make unhealthy or drastic decisions if the relationship ends.
- Practice. Relationships can be challenging but working on healthy and effective communication, building self-confidence and respect for yourself and others helps protect against violence.
Support For Teens Facing Abuse
Teen dating violence is an ongoing critical issue that affects millions of young people.
Here are some resources if you or someone you know may be a victim:
- National Dating Abuse Helpline
- Support Others in an Abusive Relationship
- Healthy Dating Attitudes and Relationships for Youth
Empower Youth to Build Lives and Communities Free from Domestic Violence
