Why Teen Relationships Deserve to be Taken Seriously
When your teen falls in love, or thinks they have, it can stir up a lot of emotions for you, too. Maybe you feel protective. Maybe you worry. Maybe you think, “They’re too young for this to really matter.”
Here’s the truth: it matters to them.
And if it matters to them, it should matter to you.
Currently, 40% of teens are in a serious relationship, and another 16% have dated before but are not actively dating. While only 2% of people marry their high school sweetheart, that doesn’t mean teen relationships are insignificant.
These early connections often come with intense feelings, new experiences and emotional growth. Brushing off your teen or not taking them seriously not only invalidates them, it removes your opportunity to teach, guide, and build trust.
When you’re there for your child through the ups and downs of their relationship and validate their feelings, you can help them grow. You can help shape how they value themselves and others, how they communicate, and how they seek healthy partnerships in the future.
Why Dismissing Their Relationships Can Do Harm
It may be tempting to downplay a breakup or wave off a new romance to protect your teen (and yourself) from what can seem like inevitable heartache. But trying to “fix it” by minimizing their experience often backfires. Teens who feel unheard may pull away, shut down emotionally, or even rebel against boundaries. Even worse, they may stop coming to you or trusting you when they most need your guidance.
Avoid saying things like:
- “It’s just a phase.”
- “You’re too young to know what love is.”
- “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
- “High school relationships don’t last anyway.”
- “You’re being dramatic.”
While you may have good intentions, these comments can feel dismissive or condescending.
Instead, try:
- “Tell me more about them. I want to understand.”
- “I’m here to listen without judgment.”
- “Thanks for sharing with me, I know that’s not always easy.”
- “I want to support you however I can.”
- “This sounds really important. How are you feeling?”
When you validate your teen’s feelings, you strengthen your connection and their ability to navigate relationships.
Listen – Don’t Lecture
Share practical tips that are helpful to keep the conversation going, without judgment.
A few helpful tips:
- Don’t interrupt or rush to judgment.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Avoid the urge to lecture or compare.
- Embrace the awkwardness – it will get easier over time.
Even if it feels uncomfortable, consistently showing up tells them that their feelings matter to you!
Teach Healthy Relationships
You are your child’s first and most influential relationship teacher.
They’re watching how you argue, how you forgive, how you express love, and how you set boundaries.
Think about your own behavior. Are you showing them:
- Respectful conflict resolution?
- Open, honest communication, especially about difficult topics?
- Mutual respect and healthy emotional boundaries?
Your actions speak louder than any lecture ever could. Show them what healthy love looks and feels like.
Big Talks
It’s natural to want to protect your teen’s innocence, but avoiding tough conversations won’t prepare them for real life. As your teen explores their relationship, they’re likely thinking about intimacy, consent, and protection. Your willingness to sit down and have these conversations helps them decide what to do next. And if they don’t hear it from you, the possibility that they will hear it from an untrustworthy source increases.
To help them navigate relationships, check out our resources for tips on having those conversations:
Need help finding a provider? Find one near you: https://www.keeprelationshipsreal.com/locations/
Be Their Safe Haven
At the end of the day, your child knows you can’t fix everything for them, but they do need you to be a safe, supportive place they can turn to.
When you approach their relationships with respect and not judgment, you show them that their feelings are real, that they are worthy of love, and that they are never alone.
Want to learn more about teen relationships, sexual health, and STIs? Get the facts: https://www.keeprelationshipsreal.com/parents-blog-page/.
